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The America Turned Upside Down (ATUD) newsroom has received credible reports that New York Representative Dan Goldman has been inducted into the prestigious Recto-Craniosis Society of America (RCSA) for his outing our alleged President Biden’s lies concerning First Son Hunter’s business with Burisma. To paraphrase Rep. Goldman just slightly from an old BTO[1] tune, the Bidens were takin’ care o’ business, it’s all mine; takin’ care o’ business and workin’ overtime.

The RCSA is an old and revered honor society for politicians and military flag officers. To be considered for induction, Goldman had to demonstrate that his head was completely up his ass. This he accomplished in superb fashion with all five RCSA judges giving him 10s.

Goldman’s strategy was admirable for a man with no oxygen penetrating his brain. Giddy in his excitement to entrap IRS whistleblower, Gary Shapley, Goldman’s tongue got stuck in his eye tooth, he could not see what he was saying, and presto the proverbial cat was out of the bag. To increase his odds to beat out his closest rival, VP Kacklin’ Kamala Harris, for this prestigious honor, Goldman has stated that Lyin’ Joe only spoke to Hunter’s partners in crime to “say hello” and discuss the weather on their end.[2] He also stated that Biden has brought integrity back to the DOJ, and the American people should move on from the Hunter and Joe Crime Show. Goldman’s stellar oratory and the fact that he has a perennially sappy look on his face – like the punch line of joke – put VP Harris well behind him in the voting.

VP Harris’s efforts to achieve RCSA status were admirable and totally asinine, but clearly did not meet RCSA induction standards. She boldly stated to ABC’s News Linsey Davis that “there are polls that … say I have great approval ratings. “I think the point that has to be made is that there are attempts to create distractions away from the accomplishments of our administration.” Although K. K. Harris remains a Recto-Craniosis wannabe we predict she will be a strong contender before the 2024 primaries.

ATUD News Staff Writers

1 August 2023

[1] For readers under 55 years, BTO stands for Bachman-Turner Overdrive. [2]

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