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We have seen many rock bands in the halls of Congress.  They seem to come in groups of eight, like “Goetz and the Rebels,” a conservative band whose music drove Progressives, RINOs, and some Americans insane, and who can forget “The Squad,” the Eastern hip-poppers name for a self-chosen group of misfits they identify with.  Four black Marxist females, one of which needs stat treatment with Rogain or Nutrafol, screeching out their hatred of America.  The original four brought in three more black Marxists and one token Hispanic from Texas, but their repetitive medleys of racism and white privilege continue to hit the ear like an out of tune bagpipe.


            Yesterday a new rock band, a quartet, hit the Congressional stage:  AOC and the Ass Hats!  Originally known as Three Rubes plus Boobs, the group – Jamie Raskin, Eric Swalwell, Dan Goldman, and AOC – decided to give the former New York barmaid lead vocal with Raskin and Goldman chiming in with solo performances to give further credence to their new name.  In future performances Swalwell will provide accompaniment on a diatonic kazoo, if he promises not to fart on stage.


            Their first performance of The Ballad of Hunter Biden came during a break in Hunter’s closed-door deposition to the House.  Prior to that break, Hunter stated under oath to lawmakers that he had not involved his father in his business.  Moreover, according to the Corruption News Network, ol’ Crackpipe Pete “took a swipe at Republicans who have accused him and his father of corruption. Hunter Biden accused Republicans of pursuing a ‘baseless and destructive political charade,’ charging that the impeachment investigation was built on an ‘entire partisan house of cards on lies.’”[1] That pathological liar gene sure is strong!


Well, with that testimony AOC decided to be “gracious” and gave lead vocal to Goldman! His performance, like his July 2023 defense of Joe Biden’s knowledge of Hunter’s business,[2]was superb, if you like burlesque and other forms of comedy.


“Hunter Biden gave very detailed and clear explanations as to what his arm’s length business transactions were with private parties in foreign countries,” crooned Goldman, “who are investors and businesspeople like many people would have, [la, la, la, la].”  “There is a very understandable, coherent business explanation [… dooby, dooby, do] for every single thing that they asked for.”[3]


Raskin, Swalwell, and AOC sang a chorus of:


            “An embarrassing display … a waste of a day”


“They ain’t got nothin’… cause they’re in bed with the Russians”


And so on and so on.


            But if you resort to AOC and the Ass Hats for the creation of musical prevarications for a defense you’re not up sh*t creek without a means of locomotion, but rather in an overwhelming fecal tsunami.


            Personally, I would rather have Vinny Gambini or stuttering Attorney John Gibbons!



                                                                                    29 February 2024

[1]  Sangal & Shen, “Hunter Biden’s closed-door testimony in House GOP probe,” 28 Feb,

[2]  Troy Smith, “Dan Goldman caught in bold-faced lie over Kevin Archer testimony,” 31 July,

[3]  James Lynch, “Dan Goldman claims Hunter Biden had ‘very understandable explanation’ for foreign business dealings,” 28 Feb, National Review.

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