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The Mulvaney fecal storm, now beginning its eighth week, continues to batter the A-B ‘Team of Dreamers,’ euphemistically called leadership. Various actions and ideas have been floated to coax their old customer base back into the A-B fold. None of these appear to be effectual. Indeed, the week beginning 8 May saw sales of Bud Light decline for the sixth consecutive week.[1] Former A-B executive Anson Frericks predicted that the boycott will “drag on until Bud Light makes a comment about what they stand for.”[2]According to Frericks, Bud Light was “never about politics [it was] a brand that brought people together. It was about football. It was about sports. It was about music. It never got involved in political situations. That's why it was enjoyed by both Republicans and Democrats equally. And that was what made the brand … remarkable … It was remarkably unpolitical …This is just a political situation they should not have got themselves in."[3]

Now A-B has been reported to be buying back unsold cases of beer that are past their expiration date.[4] There have been bomb threats[5]and A-B Clydesdale events have been canceled.[6] Moreover, the Human Rights Campaign has taken away A-Bs Corporate Equity Score of 100 for not supporting the LGBTQ+ XYZ, PDQ community’s desire to shove their nonsense in our faces 24/7.[7]

We must ask, why the dismal prophecy - one I would likely make myself - concerning the boycott? Let’s review the ‘Team of Dreamer’s actions and their thinking.

ACTION 1. After an initial attempt to defend Ms. Heinerscheid’s decision to partner with Mulvaney, CEO Whitworth proclaimed that there was no intention of dividing people. Another one of his brilliant minions asserted that Mulvaney’s face appeared on one can only commemorating Mulvaney’s schwantzectomy and was never meant to be a campaign. So, to be clear, a Heinerscheid partnership that included commercials of Mulvaney talking about and drinking Bud Light and approved by the Dream Team marketeers was not really a partnership or campaign, but merely a single commemorative can.

CORPORATE THINKING. The Bud Light customer base is too stupid to recognize these lies. Besides they really want to drink our beer.

ACTION 2. Heinerscheid and Daniel Blake, the two marketing geniuses responsible for this mess were not fired but put on leave of absence in late April.

CORPORATE THINKING. We will put them on extended leave with pay. This will look like serious punishment to the public. As soon as our old customers get thirsty for good ol’ Bud Light this will blow over.

ACTION 3. As the boycott increased and the first two actions gave no positive results, A-B claimed that an anonymous third-party advertiser was responsible for the partnership and the egregious can was never intended for general sales.[8]

CORPORATE THINKING. Shift the blame and shift it early.

ACTION 4. A-B hired a lobbying firm, Origin Advocacy, with GOP roots in order to rehabilitate its image.[9]

CORPORATE THINKING. If Anson Frericks is correct, we could be in deeper sh-t than we thought. Since lesbos, bisexuals, transgenders, and queers can’t drink enough beer to keep us afloat, we will have to appear to suck up to our customer base.

ACTION 5. As of 18-19 May, the New York Post reported, A-B is preparing to “launch

a line of camouflage aluminum bottles that promote the "Folds of Honor" program, which provides educational scholarships for families of fallen and disabled American military service members and first responders.”[10]

CORPORATE THINKING. What can we do to persuade the ignorant redneck rubes, with Bibles, guns, and bad teeth that live in Fly-Over-America and constitute our customer base that we are really not Woke; we were just kidding. They really love camouflage and it’s cheap and easy to do.

The arrogance and condescension of the A-B CEO and his ‘Team of Dreamers’ are only eclipsed by their disingenuous actions, lies, and transparent contempt and disrespect for a loyal customer base. All their customer base wants is an apology, an admission that the partnership with Mulvaney was ill-advised, a mistake. Don’t hold your breath for ACTION 6.


22 May 2023

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

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